I'm actually such in a good mood rn, yep, this day is gonna end aight', just letting go fo whatever stresses me for today, and just do my thing, yup.mp3 - ( 11/11/2022 / 3:06 PM )

I keep making the newb mistake of writing my link as neocities.com instead of org ooooh my goooood lol - ( 11/11/2022 / 6:14 PM )

I know that she's just feeling bad, but it still kinda bothers me that she just decides to not reply to my dms cause of it, I really just kinda want to ask if I should keep messaging or just wait for her to say anything, but I don't wanna seem aggressive or whateeever but yeah, just letting go of it, food time!! - ( 11/11/2022 / 7:13 PM ), Everything been feeeling pretty dull, sorta, today was pretty fun at least, but I hardly can bring myself to play minutes or so of things that I enjoyed, and social battery is kinda out for most socials/ppl, aside of twitter/here, cause I can just SCREAM TO THE VOID!!!, and feel heard, and well some people or plans I had today, but the plans kinda flopped : (, and well, yeah, peeps haven't been really talkative, bleh, I'll just get busy making my website and stuff, god I hope that next trimester I can also get busy with uni and have an excuse hang out with my IRLs, I miss it - ( 7:18 PM )

hi there, I kind of spaced out and did nothing!!, slowly getting in a better mindset, I hope lolz!, gonna try to keep up with the courses and whateva to finally make this website like, something, I stiiiiill need to figure out what I wanna do for it, ooooooough, but what-ever!~, nice nice that's it, still have plans on making a "diary" blog and a vent blog because I don't want to scare people or be annoyin/etc in here!! haha, alright that's it - ( 16/11/2022 - 6:41 PM )

That previous statement was a Total Lie!, half, half total lie, I do feel better, yet not?, it's a weird limbo!!, stronger than before, I don't know!!, I will feel better, then feel kind of miserable out of nowhere or due very minor things!, hooray for quarantine fucking everything up!, I don't know, I've been getting much more fleeting intrusive thoughts, I just, kind of want to dissapear at times, I wish I had more in common with her, I wish things weren't as awfully weird with one of my best (e) friends, everything is draining, I want to do everything and nothing, I hate time passing while I waste away doing nothing, I wish just to dissapear or just, stop time, time out, relax, whatever, and come back when I'm much stabler, than just feeling like shit, and just playing a game until I feel better, or the game unavoidably makes it worse, and I feel even shittier!, I wish I didn't care as much to other people's feelings, maybe with that I could be more vocal about my problems and concerns with things that sometimes happen, but I just pick to be stoic and always show a smile, even if it is virtual haha!, it kind of sucks when people don't show much interest, I don't like to hog attention, but sure it's kind of upsetting when only people ask how are you when you are visibly upset, or give you one word answers, or shut down your attempts to talk and make more of a "What are you doing, oh (thing)" interaction, I'm talking too much on the nose about this now, but I don't know how to explain it to them anymore, I understand they always were a "lone wolf", and etc, but I couldn't be any more needy lately, and I have explained the same issue, and it seems like the more I explain it, the lesser of an effect it has, I don't know dude, I feel I'm missing something, like I should be used to this, and I think I was, but I just want to be more social, maybe to try to get back that same type of interactions outside of weekends and whenever I try to push and send things, or whenever either's horny, it's not really great if you put it on that way. And the other just feels like shit which doesn't helps me feeling like shit, so gets upset whenever I don't reply with the same enthusiasm when I'm already feeling like shit, and it just makes it obvious they are upset, and only makes me feel annoyed or even more upset, and I don't really know how to reply or interact whenever they are "touchy" and "cute cuddly", everything's been a mess, everything's has had a negative response in one wya or another, I'm trapped on how to act or reply to them, I don't know what to do, I don't really feel comfortable replying in the same manner due all the shit's that has been happening, I know what effects what I say has on them, and it's just, such a minefield, I don't know, I'm just venting, and hey, it feels, a little lighter, (fast forward 3 minutes), I feel like shit again, great - ( 7/12/2022 )

I don't know why I'm like this, probably was nothing, but I can't help but feel like shit about it, not like they'll notice or ask about it, whatever, I'll just keep thinking my problems aren't that big, and it'll go away with music, it always does, I feel I'm so dramatic putting everything like this, but I guess it's just how it feels